Last year 37 million pieces of luggage were lost worldwide, not including the damp launch of Terminal 5 and all the bags that got 'lost' there. Thirty-seven million, that's an awful lot of pants, and may go some way towards explaining why British tourists abroad are so abysmally dressed. We can send men to the Moon, robots to Mars and fire a nano-particle at the speed of light through the eye of a newt (or something), but sending a human being and their luggage on the same plane, to the same destination, seems to be beyond the mother wit of most airlines. Once lost, attempting to get it back is enough to try the patience of Job, not helped of course by the airline's question 'What colour is it?', to which the answer is invariably "Black, and in case you're wondering, it looks like a suitcase you numbnut, and the last one you sent me contained the shrunken head of a Samoan fishmonger in it. Which I'm pretty sure means it's not mine". Well now, for the price of a scary shirt in Guadaloupe you can be sure to locate your bag when the airline can't. Trace Me Luggage Tracker is a durable tag that securely fastens to your much abused suitcase and sports a unique serial number and barcode. This ensures that wherever in the world your bag has ended its lonely travels, it will wing its way back to you, and only you. No matter where your bag lands, the local handling official or police can scan your barcode, or read your registration number, and your name and details will pop up on the property ownership register at www.immobilise.com. You will then receive a text and email enabling you to tell the airline where your bag is, that they really should get their act together, and aren't you a clever smarty pants. Airlines should of course do this themselves, but there's no point trying to heard cats, because they simply don't care.